i'm a f**king walking disaster!

what the fuck...struggled with twisted pinky, sore back, a twisted thumb (with best compliments from last saturday's yoga class) and now dandruff.

dandruff, the shedding of dead skin cells from the scalp at an excessive rate, is the result of the normal growing process of the skin cells of the scalp (yippie...does that mean i'm still growing...good good...dying to achieve a taller physique, hehehe). tried medicated shampoo aka head and shoulders...well, i fell for the ad ok. so, don't ask me why head and shoulders when there are many other brands out there. anyway, i have had pieces of dry scabs on my pillow case and that totally eeeks me out.

and to think that was it?...boy was i dead wrong! to add to all these eekiness...i'm also having sore and dry eyes! boo hoo! fuck the environment. blame it on the environment. mind you, i did not peep at either chris nor gary. although i would have loved to get my hands on either one of them.

oh well, pinky is all well now, thumb's getting better too, as for the back...it is still a bit sore and dandruff...to hell with dandruff!

oh my gawd!!! i'm such a slut! part II

oh my goodness...hehehe, shame on me. chris is out of the picture now. i've gotten a new target...gary is his name. hehehe. let's see...he's cute, got a little goatie. and he's got this gorgeous shoulder...and pair of arms to go with it. yes abo, i heard that...don't you even dare say it out!

anyway, will need to dig more details of him. all i know now is his name...a great starting point no? then again, i got a feeling he's very "ah neh"...coz he managed to squeeze some conversation with our yoga teacher when we were doing the supported hand stand. oh well...gary yum yum!

oh yeah, have made my mind not to do ttc.

to do 'ttc' or not do 'ttc'?

ttc...stands for teacher's training course. yup...seriously considering of doing this course. for yoga of course...not for the sake of being able to teach (although teaching part time can definately generate that much needed cash) but more of bringing myself to the next level in yoga.

however, after further discussion over dinner with my teacher (oh oh oh, the detox drink which i had was superb, combination of mango, apple, carrot and strawberries), it just daunted on me that i may not be ready after all...don't know...according to her, i'm physically ready, however, mentally, i'm still a long way to go...i agree. come to think of it...i don't think i'm even physically ready as i'm not even able to do the simple seated forward bend also known as pachitmottanasana.

how could i ever concentrate in class when the class i'm attending has chris in it. bugger...i want him in bed!!! yums! anyway, concentrate, concentrate, concentrate...on chris? hahaha

anyway, final decision has yet to be made...to do ttc or not do ttc, that's the question.

ouch! i have a sore back

crap! i was doing this very simple pose during yoga on saturday...so simple i would even think that fatty abochan would be able to do it. and as i was coming out of uttanasana also known as standing forward bend, i felt this sharp jerk on my lower back!!! boy! did it hurt!!! i had to excuse myself 1.5 hours into my practice. bummer!

so, it's gonna be rest rest rest...abstinence from yoga for maybe a week...it better be...omg, i cannot imagine any longer than that!

oh yeah...a new experience for me last saturday as well. i went to a gay spa...omg...it was definately an experience. i thought, since my back is a bit sore...i may as well go get it rub! in style!!! hahaha. anyway, had this chap from thailand...david was his name i think. told him to concentrate on my back...and he surely did...come to think of it...he concentrated more than just my back...he gave me a "urut batin" (hint: david's great at the hand job). anyway, 2 hours of bliss...would definately go back...and if abo, paul or dave is in town...let me know, i'll take you there. i'm sure we'll have lotsa fun there. it's nothing sleezy, and very clean and discreet. oh and you get a cup of hot green tea after your massage. by the way, check them out at www.atouch.com.my.

oh my gawd!!! i'm such a slut!

chris was his name...and i was busy checking him out during yoga tonite. downward dog became more of a spyward dog pose...mountain pose more of running my eyes from his head to toe... oh my goodness, what a slut i am (i hear that coming out loud and clear from abochan! bitch!)...i swear my mind was all over chris...bugger!!! what a stimulating class.

and of course...at the end of the class...my favourite teacher introduced me to chris...hahahaha, yums!!! again i swear my eyes were tearing his cute singlet off his nice chest and pulling those tight shorts all the way down revealing what's underneath there. oh my gawd!

clouded by the haze?

so much has happened...peat fires, hotspots over the island of sumatra, open burnings in home ground...all contributing to the ever increasing air pollution not to mention the haze that's currently blanking many parts of the nation. with such poor visibility, ones mind also tend to be "hazed".

have been attending classes (yoga of course) consistently...have been pretty strong about it and it feels good. but of late, the mind...it's just not tuning into the body. it doesn't seem to be listening...it feels like it has got a "mind" of its own. the head is telling me this but the heart is telling me otherwise. what has come to me?

of course, practiced a couple of supported head stands...hoping for the oxygen enriched blood to flood my brain to give it an extra boost of much needed oxygen after it has been so deprived of this vital breathe of life due to the haze. and apparently, it's not rushing there like how it's intended.

too many things in my mind. need to unwind...maybe a couple of 'ohms' to retune the mind and soul should do some good. or like abo likes to put it..."you need to get laid"...which is it?

the chocolate nation

i was told i am a caramel today. how pathetic...i hate caramel.

it seems that the human population can be grouped into different kinds of chocolate. what an insult to this devine piece of dessert. anyway, someone told me that indians are milk dairy (more like bitter dark to me, if i were to group them), chinese are caramels, whites are....white of course, africans are dark chocolate. and what about flavoured ones? there's the rum and raisin ones, the nutty ones, pralines, butterscotch and the list goes on of course.

whatever it is, if i were ever to be grouped into chocolates, i wanna be pistachio raisin dark chocolate...why? coz' i'm a bit nutty and sweet yet classic. hehehe. i hear a couple of "yeah right" coming. oh well...namaste.

abochan wrote the following for me...huggies abo.

"For Tash

Do not fret, do not frown. One time failure does not define your potential, rather it could be God or the Universe telling you that whatever you wished for, is not yours to have. I am sure that better things awaits you ahead. So pick up the pieces, put aside your disappointment and look forward to a much brighter journey with faith and optimism. The worst disservice you can do to yourself is to doubt your own capabilities. Soldier forth with confidence and you will see how the world opens up for you in ways you can never imagine, so beautifully, fabulously."

abochan

www.abocan.blogspot.com

p/s: ah pui, get well soon.

i failed...

went through months of torment to be told i did not make it...sigh. i dunno how i'm feeling right now. i just cannot describe it. it's a bit of dissapointment and a hint of sadness...what can i do? nothing...i just gotta move on. i really don't know how i feel...there's just so much mix emotions right now. anger, dissapointment, sad, pathetic...